Are Muslim Women Oppressed? Part 2-Modest Clothing

People often fail to distinguish between culture and religion, two completely different things.  They are focusing so hard on how Muslim women are oppressed, specifically because of how women in Afghanistan are treated. When the media shows how Muslim women in Afghanistan are treated people automatically connect three words in their minds; 'Islam,' 'Women,' and 'Oppression'.  

Often enough Westerners and more specifically Americans believe that the oppression of Muslim women goes beyond hijab and that her modest dress is believed to be a sign of oppression.

When people see a covered Muslim women the think oppression, and they are actually wrong.  A Muslim woman is not oppressed, but she is liberated.  She no longer is valued for something as material like her looks or the shape of her body.  By covering these things she is makes it necessary for others to judge her according to her intelligence, honesty, kindness, and personality-judging her for who she is not what she looks like.

Lets us discuss the idea of what makes a style of dress oppressive.  Oppression is restriction.  Restriction can refer to movement, mentality, and for work.

So restriction of movement when it comes to clothing.  Have you ever worn a mini-skirt?  Tight tank top,  skinny jeans?  These are NOT comfortable.  Why should you sacrifice comfort for beauty?  Now try wearing an abaya, a loose fitting dress worn by many Muslim women.  The loose fit allows for air flow during hot days, layers during cold days, along with ease of movement. 

Second we will look at mental oppression.  When we thing of how clothing oppresses us mentally, we can look at how clothing makes us feel.  Maybe it is the difference of opinion but I do not feel good having people stare at me.  I feel like an object.  I am much more than boobs and an ass, much more than my hair style and the shape of my body.

In high school so many kids are scrutinized because of clothing.  It defines which 'groups' they belong to.  Like what you wear defines you as a person.  Didn't you ever notice that the girls who dressed least modestly were the most popular girls while the girls with the most intelligence and often times the best ideas, most originality, and personable were the geeks.
It's just how Western society works. 

So, if we want to talk about liberating women mentally, wouldn't it be smart to remove the barriers?  Very few women are going to look like the supermodels in magazines, which effects their self-esteem.  If you have low self esteem you are less likely to reach your full potential.  Sounds a lot like clothing can be very oppressive.

But if I forget about what society wants and submit myself to God, dressing in a way that reflects my respect for him, and myself...  You can feel good.  You can feel freedom.  Freedom from the social oppression.  Freedom from the unwanted gazes of immature men who can not control their sexual obsession.

And finally, when we think about clothing restrictions and work...  I'm sorry, I do not want to be hired because I have a nice body.  Again, objectified by men.  Where is your freedom?  Furthermore, having to have multiple wardrobes, because obviously you can't wear that tube top and mini skirt to the office, or most jobs for a matter of fact-can be downright expensive.  I can wear my abaya anywhere.  To any job.  I can work anywhere in a dress or skirt.  In pants and a modest top.

Society tells us we are oppressed by the way we dress, but maybe they are just to blinded by their own oppression to free themselves from the grip society has on them.  Get a clue!  

Are Muslim Women Oppressed? Part 1- Hijab

I am writing this in hopes it will reach just one person.  I know that most of the time, no matter what I say, I will never be able to convince the world that Muslim women are not oppressed by Islam.  The moment someone sees my hijab (head-scarf) they automatically think I am oppressed. "What woman would put religion before material pursuits?" "Only an oppressed woman would be forced to cover herself." 

But sadly enough, I know this isn't the thought for all religions. Western society readily accepts head-coverings in many different religions.  In Christianity, when a nun covers herself and devotes herself to God she is respected.  No one questions this as her choice.  She has the right to be a nun and no once considers her oppressed.  

Actually, in Christianity, the sight of a veiled woman is no unfamiliar sight.  For Catholics; images, statues, and depictions of the Virgin Mary (known as Maryam in Islam) show her wearing hijab.  Can you honestly say you have ever seen a picture of herwithout hijab? Do they believe she was oppressed wearing hijab? 

What does Christianity exactly say regarding women wearing veils/head-coverings?  

 

“In obedience to Sacred Scripture, many Catholic women wear some kind of veil or head-covering. Some wear a head-covering only at Mass. Others feel called to wear a head-covering at other times during the day, as well as at Mass. Many non-Catholic Christian women also wear a head-covering.

These women are following the call of the Holy Spirit. Society discourages women from wearing a head-covering and from doing anything else which shows submissiveness and obedience. Yet these women have found the light of truth in the midst of dark times.

The moral law requires all women to wear the veil on their hearts. A woman should not wear the veil on her head, until she is wearing it first on her heart. A woman who wears the veil on her heart accepts the place that God gives to women in the Church, the family, and society. Women who wear the veil on their hearts are imitating the Virgin Mary in her humility, submissiveness, and obedience to Christ. The veil should cover her head, but not her face. It is first and foremost symbolic of humility, submissiveness and obedience.” (Conte Jr. 2011)

Modern Day Catholic women wearing mantilla at Mass.

I Corinthians 11:5-6

     " But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head; it is the same as having her head shaved.  For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head."

Up until the American revolt against religion in the 1980's Christian head-coverings were very common among Catholics, Protestants, and several other Christian groups.

In Judaism, many women believe in wearing veils.  There are many reasons Jewish women cover their hair.  Jewish women cover their hair for the same reasons as Muslim women-modesty (or tzniut). According to the Torah, the priest uncovers or unbraids the accused woman's hair as part of the humiliation that precedes the ceremony (Numbers 5:18).

Jewish Veil

Elsewhere in the Talmud (Berakhot 24a), the rabbis define hair as sexually erotic (ervah), and prohibit men from praying in sight of a woman's hair. The rabbis base this estimation on a biblical verse: "Your hair is like a flock of goats" (Song of Songs 4:1), suggesting that this praise reflects the sensual nature of hair.  Thus it is believed that the hair should be covered and saved especially for the husbands.

Around the world women today still practice wearing veils, or head-coverings for religious reasons.  Why is it that only the Muslim women are considered to be oppressed?  How is it that Western society feels that we have no choice in the matter.  God has commanded us to modesty just as other religions feel they have been commanded to do so.

Here in Egypt there are many women wearing different levels of hijab, and many women who chose not to.  This is ultimately their choice.  This choice is between them and God.  No one is going to force them to wear it if they chose not to.  It is a woman's devotion to God that brings her toward wearing hijab.

If we are to speak about women's rights.  Western feminists will argue that by covering your body you are submitting to the orders of men and we should be proud of our body.  They believe that Islam is suppressing our sexuality.

This is simply not true.  It is just channeling our sexuality through appropriate paths.  Family, marriage, stability.  This secures a woman's mental and physical health.  It build a bond between husband and wife, a bond that hasn't been shared by millions of men across a country.

Western women, including said feminists, are still objectified by the primal sexual needs of men.  By uncovering themselves they are making themselves an object of man's sexual desire, not a woman of character with a brain and emotions.

Women in Islam are regarded to be more precious than and gold, metal, or gem.  Their beauty is protected.  And they themselves protect their beauty from the outside world.

Understand that wearing a veil is a choice, whether you're Christian, Jewish, or Muslim.  Every day when I dress to walk outside I chose to cover my beauty for God.  And, more importantly, when you choose to dress in your own miniskirt and low cut top realize how you are going to feel as you age, when your beauty is not what it used to be.  When gravity takes hold of your skin and places you once showed off to the world.  How will you feel dressed in these clothes?  How will your society look at you?  And how is God looking at you as you put worldly desires before him. You will struggle to look younger, struggle with self esteem, and struggle for male attention-now who is oppressed?  

Weight loss Demystified.

I have struggled with weight loss for the past 16 years.  I had tried every diet imaginable and then some.  Before becoming pregnant with Ariana I was wearing a size 10 jeans.  For my  bone size and muscle mass this isn't bad at all.  Actually I was quite satisfied with that.  

Upon arriving to Egypt three months ago I was wearing a size 18.  I thought I ate healthy.  Salads, juice, water...  Yes cookies, coffee, soda, candy and fast food... But I didn't think it was that often.

I am currently a  juniors size 12.  Yes.  12.  In three months I have dropped 6 pants sized.

Since being in Egypt I have had fast food twice.  Once we had KFC and once we had Pizza Hut in Cairo. 

I rarely eat junk food.  Soda maybe three times a week.  Half a candy bar maybe, maybe every other day.  No candies.  Limited ice cream.  Chips maybe once a week.  And that isn't a full family sized bag.  No half a small personal sized bag.

I don't really exercise.  With my herniated disk that isn't really all that possible.  I walk about 6 km a week total.

No here's my secret.  No processed food.  No junk.  Everything, including the meat, is fresh.  Not even frozen.

That means no MSG, no preservatives, no added sweeteners, no added salt.

Every morning I eat one circle loaf of flat bread.  This is with fool (stewed beans), eggs, cheese, and tomato.  Lunch is our big meal here-eaten between 2 and 4PM.  Which actually makes a lot of sense.  Eat your larger meal while you still have time to burn off the calories.  Supper is more like a snack and is eaten at like 10 PM-Midnight.

I eat a lot of rice.  A lot of bread.  Lots of beans.  Lots of meat.  Lots of vegetables. Difference being... Never once have I eaten a meal made from a box or frozen.  Never once have I eaten a processed meal (with the exception of the two fast food meals).  I drink 4 liters of water a day.  Two cups of tea.  One Turkish coffee. 

Isn't really hard.  And tastes a lot better.  :)

Mess of Emotions...

Anger.  Frustration.  Determination.  Emptiness.  Resentment.  Overwhelmed.  Tormented.  Vengeful.  

A mess of angry emotions flood my mind.  Every afternoon, as it is morning where my beautiful girls are waking up and starting their day.  Starting their day without me.

Nine years of motherhood all for what?!  All my life is.  Meaning of my life.  Every struggle.  Every ounce of pain.  It was all worth it.  It was for my babies. Ten years of an abusive marriage.  Trying to hold a failing family together.  Keeping everyone smiling when I fell asleep every night crying. 

Now without them I feel lost.  I have no one to care for.  No one to occupy my mind, my time.  I feel like this is all I know.  I'm lost.  I want to be happy but without them I can't truly live my life.

Never will I stop fighting.  They will be back where they belong, where they are safe and loved.  Inshallah.  But I will never stop regretting leaving them with my ex-husband.  No matter how good of an idea it was at the time.  No matter how hard it would have been if I would have kept them with no steady job,  full-time college, no house...  No matter how it was for their best interest...  I can't seem to justify it anymore. 

No matter how often I talk to them its never enough.  We're separated by 6,000 miles and my biggest fear is that something will happen while I'm here.  While I have no way to them.  While I may not get to say goodbye.

I have to trust God.  If we are meant to get the girls, its his will.  No amount of money, no lawyers,  no amount of convincing will change the outcome.  I can't stop fighting.  I can't give up.  But... Its that time.

3:28 PM here in Egypt.  7:28 AM in Wisconsin.  The two oldest will be on their way to school.  It's my time to talk to them for 5 minutes today. 

Egyptian Molokhia Recipe

Molokhia is a stew very popular in Egypt but dates back to the time of the Pharaohs.  It is made from a very healthy super-food known as jute leaves, Egyptian spinich, or Jews Mallow.  This is a leafy green vegetable found throughout the Middle East.  This low calorie meal is rich in vitamin c, vitamin a, and calcium which makes it not only a delicious comfort food, but a nutritious one as well. Nutritionists have said it has three times the calcium and phospherous as Kale, and four times the amount of riboflavin. It also provides 70% of the RDA value for Vitamin C, 25% of the RDA of Vitamin A among a host of other minerals and vitamins.

Molokhia has been prepared the same way in Egypt for thousands of years.  The makhrata is a tool with either one or two curved blades that has a handle on each end.  It kind of rocks back and forth over the leaves not only chopping them, but smashing them as well.

I admit do not own a makhrata and have never tried the traditional method, though when we begin growing our own molokhia I will convert to using the traditional method. This recipe will follow the more conventional method of using frozen molokhia from the supermarket.

Molokhia leaves and molokhia makhrata tool.

Traditionally, molokhia played an important role in Egyptian marriage. Before a man would chose his bride, she would prepare molokhia for him.  If her molokhia was not good she was seen as a bad cook, if it was good she was seen as a great cook and therefor a suitable bride.  Failed molokhia was referred to as molokhia sa'ata (fallen molokhia) because the failed molokhia consists of two layers instead of just one.  Even when stirred it returned almost instantly to two layers.  See the tips below on how to avoid failed molokhai.  It isn't rocket science but molokhia takes patience and time to be prepared correctly. 

Egyptian molokhia soup with baked chicken and rice

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 1.5-2 hours

Servings: 6-8

Ingredients:

Broth:

• 1 whole chicken

• 6 cups (~1.5 liters) of water

• 1 large onion halved

• 2 bay leaves

• 1 tbsp salt

• Optional:  Skip the ingredients above and use three chicken bouillon cubes instead. 

Molokhia:

• 1 lb (~400 grams) frozen molokhia

• 1 large red onion, diced

• 2 tbsp tomato paste (either canned or homemade-doesn't matter)

• Ta'leyah (recipe here)

• 1tsp lemon juice

• salt and pepper to taste

Chicken:

• your preference of seasoning for baking the chicken (I use rosemary, lemon, thyme, and sage)

• salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Cut and trim fat from chicken.  I prefer to leave on skin for baking.  Add water to large stock pot with onion, bay leaves, and salt.  Bring to a rolling boil. Add chicken.  Boil for about 1 1/2 hours.  *If you are using bouillon instead of actually boiling the chicken, just make sure that your bouillon is dissolved well before adding molokhia ingredients. 
2. Remove chicken, onion, and bay leaves from pot.  Set chicken aside.  SAVE THE BROTH. 
3. Place the chicken broth in a medium pan on high heat.
4. Rub the onions well with salt and pepper then add them to the broth along with the tomato paste. 
5. Add salt and pepper to taste. Reduce to low heat and cook until the onions are tender and translucent. 
6. Add frozen molokhia and lemon juice.  Do not let boil.  Cook over the lowest heat possible.  This needs to be cooked over very low heat.  Boiling will cause a two layered molokhia that doesn't taste good and is syrupy. 
7.  Prepare ta'leyah as in this recipe here. Preheat oven to 350°F (~175°C)
8. Pour ta'leyah over molokhia and stir only once.
9. Simmer on the lowest heat possible (making sure NOT to boil it) for about 30 minutes.  DO NOT COVER. Once 30 minutes is up, remove from heat and allow to settle for about 10 minutes before serving.
10. Prepare chicken by rubbing it with your preferred spices.  Cover with aluminum foil.  Bake for 25 minutes (if you didn't boil it first-cook for 35 minutes) then remove the foil and bake for an additional 10 minute or until the internal temperature of the chicken is at least 180°F (82°C)
11. Prepare Egyptian Rice as in recipe found here
12. Pour molokhia in bowls and serve with chicken and Egyptian rice.

Note:  It is important to remember NOT TO BOIL OR COVER the molokhia.  If you do you will end up with failed molokhia!

All images and text on this website are protected by copyright. Please do not post or republish this recipe or images without permission. If you want to share this recipe just share the link rather than the whole recipe

Safety in Egypt. Is it a Problem?

I have lived in Egypt just about three months.  Before coming to Egypt I was advised against doing so.  "The military is everywhere..."  "It is in a state of chaos"  "People will steal from you"  "You will be raped or sexually assaulted in the street."

That's a lot of scary thing to think about before traveling to a place you've never been to before, especially for a small town Wisconsin girl who has only left the country once-for a week... To go camping in Southern Ontario.... When I was 10 years old.

Many American women living in Egypt were afraid to leave their homes,  complaining about the living conditions, and quite frankly trying to prevent me from coming.

When I landed in Cairo and began the three hour drive to Port Fouad on November 28th  I was in a state of shock.  Yes, there were military check points-and I was scared out of my mind.  Getting into Port Said traffic was chaotic.  It was a completely different world.  Or was it?

I personally have never felt myself above anyone else in this world just because I am American.  Americans are not superior to anyone in my opinion.  You know what, forget all the cutsie my opinion crap.  They're just not.

Since being in Egypt it has dawned on me how many people actually do, though.  Maybe they don't even realize it.  They feel they have so many freedoms, rights, and America is so great.  With the exception of Europe and Japan, the rest of the world is considered developing and behind America in everything.

Open your eyes people.

Egypt is not bad.  Not dangerous.  Plain and simple.

Yes there are riots.  But these riots are not a danger to the general public, or tourists.  If you're not Egyptian military or police-you are safe.  There are occasional other 'incidents'.  Bombings.  But considering the population of Egypt,  the risk of anything affecting you is quite slim.  Similar to being involved in a school or mall shooting in America.  Slim to no chance.

I walk in the street alone, almost every day.  All the way across Port Fouad.  No one has EVER bothered me.  Not once.  I have rode the metro (subway) in Cairo.  I have taken a bus from Port Fouad to Cairo.  I have been to Tahrir Square.  I have never been insulted, assulted, or raped.

I'm not sure if the people offering this advice are just women who never go out alone, or if their Egyptian husbands are just trying to keep them afraid so they return to the states faster... Which ever the case.  It needs to stop.

And furthermore, as for rapes and assaults.  Egyptians are nosy people.   If someone were to even bother you, you show resistance or shout... You will have dozens of people there trying to help.  And if a man touches you....  He's better going to jail than to face the public.  Let's leave it at that.  Rapes are actually rare because of this.  If you lay a hand on a woman and the public gets to you before the police... Well,  you'll be dead.

Oh and women's rights.  "Women in Egypt are treated poorly."  "Don't have the right to education, can't work, are forced to wear hijab and abaya......"

GIVE ME A BREAK!

This is so false.  Women work.  All over.  Women go to college.  And there are quite a few hijabless women wearing tight clothing.  Women here are no different than anywhere else in the world, with one exception... They're treated better.  They're wives, sisters, mothers, future mothers... They are treated with a kind of respect because of this.

"Religious freedom is not allowed in Egypt."  This is also not true.  There are plenty Christians and Christian churches.  No one bothers them, they bother no one.  They are people, Egyptians all the same.

Finally, as for the military presence.  If you live in a country where people hate your police, outnumber your police 10,000 +/1, and are confined to tight living conditions in limited cities... You would need someone to do policing.  The military is just that.  Doing the job of the police.

I'll tell you a story.  Wael and I were sitting at the Port Fouad beach after dark.  Relaxing and talking.  We do this a lot.  Gives us some time alone.  All of a sudden a man knocked on my passenger window.  Honestly,  I screamed.  I didn't know who it was.  A smuggler?  A bum?  Some weirdo? Wael yelled at and insulted the man-who then very quickly identified himself.  Military.  We turned over our identification and after we checked out the men left.

A woman I used to talk to from the US said I should have reported them to the Embassy, which is funny.  Mainly funny because after the encounter the bases commander came and apologized and asked for me not to call my President Obama.

Calling my government didn't even cross my mind.  Why?  Because they just wanted to know what we were doing.  People often go sit at the beach in the dark to smoke hash and commit adultery.  Both illegal.  They were just doing their job.  They didn't know I was American.  Am I better than the Egyptians this happens to on a daily basis?  Hell no!

Egypt is not dangerous.  There is no reason to be concerned.  If you feel differently and keep away because of what someone tells you-or keep yourself locked in your flat... Well, you're really missing out on a beautiful country, wonderful people, and happiness.

Good Morning!

Saba7u el kheir min Port Fouad