Fasolia: Egyptian Green Bean and Tomato Stew

Image from food.com 

Most of you know already that I am a big fan of Egyptian stews, and especially ones which give me some new options with vegetables.  I love vegetables, all of them, and I'm always looking for new ideas.

Some time ago my husband and I went to his mother's for lunch and she made us this wonderful stew called fasolia.  Fasolia is basically basilla but with green beans (fasolia). I fell in love with the taste and texture immediately but hadn't decided to make my own until a few days ago.

Green beans are not native to Egypt, and I imagine were imported from India long ago.  I'm also not too sure on when Egyptians started cooking fasolia but I imagine it could have been during the French occupation, so sorry, no history lesson today.

Fasolia takes a lot of the techniques I have already discussed and just adds a different ingredient, green beans. So without further a do:


FASOLIA RECIPE:

*see notes below

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 tbsp ghee or sunflower oil
• 1 kg (1/2 lb) fresh green beans *
• Ta'leyah (recipe here)
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 kg stew beef (1/2 lb) *
• 1 medium red onion
• 2 large roma tomatoes
• 2 cups tomato paste *
• 3 cup beef broth *
• juice of 1 small lemon
• salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

1. Begin by washing and cutting your green beans.  You want to cut them to be about 2.5 cm (1 inch) in length.  Place them aside in a bowl.
2. Prepare ta'leyah according to the instruction here but also add your cumin to the mixture.
3. Chop onion, I prefer pieces a little bit larger than diced onions, but it is up to your own preference.  I think the larger onions help the texture.
4. In a stock pot add ghee or oil and heat over low.  Add onions and stir until translucent.  Add in stew beef a little bit at a time until all sides are browned.  
5. Add beef broth and simmer until the meat is tender, about an hour to an hour and a half.
6. Dice tomato and add to pot (once it is tender) along with tomato paste and green beans.
7. Bring to a boil and add ta'leyah
8. Add lemon juice and salt and pepper to taste.
9. Cover and simmer for about another 45 minutes until beans are tender*
10. Serve hot with Egyptian Rice (recipe here) 

NOTES:

I prefer using fresh beans but you can also use frozen, just be sure to adjust the final cooking time to about 20 minutes as frozen beans will become tender faster.  Avoid using canned green beans as they may turn to mush.

You can omit the meat is you like, or substitute for lamb.  It's ultimately your choice.  If you prefer, you can also omit the beef stock as well.  It will affect the flavor some, but if you don't like meat, I'm sure you won't mind. 

I personally do not ever use premade tomato sauce and always make mine fresh when I make anything here.  I just take and dice 6 large roma tomatoes and put in a blender with about 1/2 cup of water and puree.  This doesn't really make much a difference in cooking time if you add it right away when the meat is simmering to tender.  

If you prefer to use beef bouillon cubes just use one cube and 3 cups of water. 

Sahlab... A wonderful way to cozy up in cold weather.

If you're like me, a cold drink on a warm day can change everything.  With this year's rare cold winter here in Egypt I set out to find that perfect comfort drink and here it is... Sahlab (سحلب)

Sahlab is a creamy drink traditionally made from the tubers of the orchid orchis mascula. Sahlab in its true form is becoming increasingly rare as the wild orchid is becoming rarer.  In traditional methods, sahlab was made by boiling the tubers of the orchid, drying them, and then grinding them into a starch. Sahlab was then prepared into a drink much similar to what is enjoyed across the world today.


 Sahlab was once used as an aphrodisiac and the tubers of the orchid are known to have medicinal properties that help relieve stress, soothe indigestion, and relieve headaches. The drink is not particularly an Egyptian drink, though it's true origin is unknown.  It is popular throughout the Middle East, Balkan, and Mediterranean areas.

Most of the sahlab drink mixes you will find today will contain very little if any actual orchid tuber, so if you're concerned about the rarity of this flower you needn't be as you can avoid using the pure natural product.  I have used both 100% natural pure sahlab (from Greece) and the artificial drink mix (Dreem Sahlab) and I have noted only a slight difference in taste and no difference in the consistency.
Both the artificial and natural products can be found online and often at your Middle Eastern supermarkets.

Sahlab is fairly easy to prepare using either the traditional or prepackaged method.  I do recommend that before trying either method that you purchase a milk pot, which is a pot used for boiling milk as sahlab does get thick and sticky.

When preparing artificial sahlab simply follow the directions on the package.  I can not stress enough, though, not to let your milk heat too quickly as you will end up scorching it.  Also, be sure to whisk or stir continuously.  Below you will find the recipe for natural, traditional sahlab.

Sahlab
Serving Size: 2
Cook time: 5-8 minutes


INGREDIENTS:

• 2 1/2 cups of full cream (whole) milk
• 1/2 tsp vanilla powder
• 3 1/2 tbsp pure finely ground sahlab
• 1 tbsp corn starch
• 1 tsp toasted sesame seeds
• 1 1/2 tbsp shredded coconut
• 2 tsp sugar
• 1 tbsp pistachio or cashews (optional)
• cinnamon to dust (also optional-I personally don't like the taste)

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Add milk, vanilla, sahlab, corn starch, sesame seeds, and 1/2 tbsp of shredded coconut. to milk pan and place over low heat.  Heat until hot, but remember DO NOT BOIL
2. Stir with whisk continuously.
3. Make sure to whisk out any lumps before the milk begins to heat
4.  Continue to whisk until it thickens to desired consistency.  This will be just before the boiling point. 
5. Pour into mugs and top with shredded coconut and nuts.
6. Enjoy hot.

Tips: be sure not to cook this too quickly and whisk continuously!


  

Product Review: Schwarzkoph Gliss Hair Repair for Covered Hair

Covered women experience their own set of issues when it comes to their hair.  While covering your hair will protect it from damaging UV rays and pollution many people don't talk about what damage it does to your hair and scalp as well.

Many women who wear hijab have complained about hair loss, split ends, and oily dull hair.   Having your hair pulled back in a tight bun compressed under fabric for hours a day can really take a toll on it's health.  Over the past three years my hair has begun to become less and less healthy and seems duller than ever.  I accepted the fact that I was losing more and more hair every time I brushed it and that I would ultimately be trimming it shorter and more often than I'd like to keep the split ends under control.  

To be honest, I have never seen products that are particularly aimed at repairing covered hair so I was surprised to find a shampoo and conditioner which claims to repair damage caused by covering your hair. 

Schwarzkopf Gliss Hair Repair For Covered Hair is available at many pharmacies throughout Egypt though I purchased it cheaper at Metro Supermarket in Port Said.  I paid 35 EGP each for the shampoo and conditioner.  In the US and Europe it can be purchased through Amazon for about $8.00 USD each.  

My first impression of the shampoo was it's smell.  I have used Schwarzkopf products before and always have loved the smell and this is no different.  It has a floral, yet sophisticated salon smell. The bottles provide an adequate amount of product for the price as well as they were full up to the neck of the opening.  Both the shampoo and conditioner are thicker than most shampoos, appearing as though they have not been watered down to save money.

I want to express that I did follow the directions on the bottle except for one fact; whenever I condition my hair I allow the conditioner to soak for about 3-5 minutes before rinsing.  I'm not sure if this made any difference in the results or not, but I want everyone to be aware.

Ok... So...

Day 1:  No real change in hair other than it smelled nice and brushed out easier than normal.  I still experienced a handful of hair-loss after brushing.

Day 2: After my hair air dried I noticed it seemed slightly more vibrant.  The color was slightly brighter and it felt softer.

Day 5: Obvious difference in hair loss.  After brushing only lost about half as much hair as normal.  Hair was much more vibrant.

Day 8:  Very little hair loss and my hair was showing signs of volume-something I haven't experienced in almost 3 years.

Day 10: I lost 5 strands of hair today!!!  I am actually so happy with my hair I have begun leaving it down much of the day.  I have noticeably less breakage and my hair is bright and full of volume.

The downfall I noticed:

I have begun developing signs of dandruff near my bangs which I have never experienced in my life. I am sure it is attributed to the shampoo t as I have never had it before.  I will try washing once or twice a week with a dandruff shampoo and see if that makes any difference.

My overall thought on the product:

It seems to verify its claims to repair hair damaged by wearing headscarf.  I have experienced noticeably less hair loss, breakage, and my hair is very vibrant with a lot of volume. If it does continue to cause dandruff I will discontinue using it though.

I personally recommend anyone suffering from hair loss, breakage, limp, dull hair due to wearing hijab give it a try.  

How to avoid being taken advantage of by Egyptian men.

With the media filled with the story of another Egyptian man who has taken advantage of another Western woman by marrying her for immigration purposes, it seems more and more people are questioning the credibility of all Egyptian men.  Being married to an honest Egyptian man, I have come to see many women question my husband's credibility (without any right to do so) based on the actions of these idiots who are using women. 

It is my hope that before considering marrying an Egyptian, this will at least one woman and possibly help her to understand whether or not he is using her, reassure her if he isn't, and help her to find the courage to leave him if he is.  It is also my hope, that if we can stop these men from using women through the education of unsuspecting victims, the honest Egyptian men can stop being questioned for the actions of others whom they are not even associated with. 

I know that sometimes we let our heart lead and our brain follows somewhere behind.  This should never be the way we approach any relationship.  We need to lead with our brain and make decisions that are smart for us, allowing our hearts to be present but not have any real dictation over what we do.  This is by far the most important advice I can offer to women.  Don't let love blind you.  If something doesn't feel right, if something hurts you, if there is something you just don't feel comfortable with, don't put up with it. 

·         Where and how did you meet him?

o   So many women I have gotten to know or heard of who have been taken advantage of by Egyptian men have met their spouses in Sharm El Sheikh, Hurghada, or the on the internet via social media or online gaming.   

o   In Islam serving alcohol (anytime) and associating with women of the opposite sex outside of marriage is forbidden.  For Egyptian Christians, men also do not associate with women of the opposite sex outside of marriage.  Many of the men working in Sharm and Hurghada are leaving their moral and religious upbringing behind for money.  This should be one of the first signs alerting women of a potential user. 

§  Meeting an Egyptian man in a nightclub should be seen no differently as meeting a Western man in a nightclub.  Most of these men are just looking for women or a hook-up, no different than in Western countries. 

o   Meeting a man online is a gray area and not all of these men are going to be users, but there are a few things to consider:

§  Does he have his friend’s list blocked from you? If he will not share his friend’s list with you I would be extremely cautious and personally, I’d end it there.  Why would you want to marry someone who cannot be open about their friends with you and share that?

§  Is his family on his friend’s list?  If you meet him via social media and he doesn’t have his family as friend’s I would recommend you avoid him as well.  My first fiancé, who was a user, had several different Facebook pages and the one I met him on was only for ‘friends’ and he had a separate one for family.   Why wouldn’t a man want his family to see what he is posting and the comments people are responding?  Embarrassed or ashamed of something?

§  Does he have a lot of women friends?  This should be another alarming thing.  Stay away from men with women friends who are not his family.  He is a womanizer and possibly trying to have relationships with many women.  If you can’t see his friend’s list, check his picture comments.  Comments will show you his friend’s as well.  Are most of them from women?  These men should be avoided as it is never a good man who has more women friends than men in Egypt.

§  Ask him to give you access to his Facebook page.   I know it might sound like an invasion of privacy but explain to him that you want to avoid having secrets as they break apart a relationship.  How he reacts to your response can be a clear indicator of whether he is trustworthy or not.

·         The women they target:

o   Many men target vulnerable women.  I’m sure people have heard stories about the much older women, but that isn’t the entire truth.  I have known women who are the same age as the Egyptian man being taken advantage of.  The thing is, these men target vulnerable women.  Overweight women, women with a lower self-esteem, those who are recently divorced, and women who travel alone.  Some men also target new Muslim revert women because they are less knowledgeable in cultural and religious practices.

§   If it seems like they are out of your league, almost unbelievable that they would be attracted to you, which should be something to concern yourself with.  Either you have self-esteem issues that are making you a possible target or they may in fact be targeting you because you are out of their league.  I’m not trying to be rude or harsh, but it is something to be aware of.

§  One way to avoid becoming a target is by not telling them a lot of personal information right away.  Do not let them think you are vulnerable.  Keep details about your family and personal life private until you have a better understanding of their intentions.  Do not tell a man everything about you on the first date or conversation.

§  On another note, many Egyptian men are attracted to plus sized girls.  I do not want this to be taken the wrong way and should be used in addition to other signs.  All men have different tastes, but the vulnerability is something to be aware of.

o   How long did it take him to ‘fall in love’ with you?  Again, this varies especially because even honest Egyptian men often fall in love quickly, especially being they have very little contact with women outside their immediate family.  If you meet a man in a nightclub, for instance, and before the end of the night he is telling you he loves you it should be another instance where you should run like hell.  Or if you meet a guy on the internet who is loving you before the end of the first hour… 

·         The issue of Money…

o   As I have stated in a previous blog post, Arab men are very proud and do not ask for financial help especially from a woman.  If a man is asking you for gifts, money, or help with his immigration fees please beware.  Here are a few tips to help you determine whether or not he may be a potential financial user:

§  Does he ask you to send him money?  Seriously ladies, avoid these men like the plague.  No honest Egyptian man will ever ask a woman for money.  They were raised with more pride than that. 

§  If he wants you to travel to meet him, suggest that he pays for a portion of your trip.  If he really wants to see you he would be more than willing to pay some of your trip.  Even if it is for the hotel expense.  Egyptian men are raised to take care of their wife, if he loves you, this will be something he WANTS to do.

§  Does he send you gifts or is he asking you to send him gifts?  Again, this goes back to the idea that an Egyptian man will want to take care of his wife.  In traditional Egyptian culture, a man will buy his fiancé gifts before marriage not the other way around.   I’m not saying you can’t send him gifts, but if he is asking for them I’d be suspicious.

§  Does he work?  Yeah, even with the poor economy in Egypt an honest man will find some kind of work.  Even college students work, if he doesn’t work find out why.  Take this into consideration.

·         Other details to watch out for:

o   In most cases, the family will not be in on the con.  While a few family member may be, most likely someone won’t be.  Ask to meet his family before you become serious.  If he is embarrassed to take you, or reluctant this should be alarming.

o   Make him meet your family before you’re married and do not take no for an answer.  This is a traditional requirement for marriage in Egypt and should never be avoided.  Any man trying to avoid would make me very suspicious.  If it upset him, just imagine how upset you’ll be if it turns out he is using you!

o   He should put your feelings first.  If he is overly concerned with himself, often tells you he’s becoming upset with you, tells you this or that will make him angry-please avoid him.  This is just a manipulation technique used by a lot of these men to guilt you into doing what they want.

o   Suggest living in Egypt.  I’m not saying you have to, but suggest it and stick to your suggestion until after your marriage and then change your mind if you want to go home.   A man who isn’t using you for immigration won’t mind living in Egypt at all, a man who is will insist on leaving.   

o   Insist on meeting his entire family before getting married, do not get married without meeting them.  I mean his immediate family, his grandparents, his aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Traditionally, you should meet his immediate family first privately and after they give you their blessings to be married, ask to meet his extended family.

o   Having sex before marriage is something that no Egyptian man (Christian or Muslim) with any moral upbringing will do if he respects himself, you, or his family.  I know this may be hard to understand as a westerner, but this is how men are raised in Egypt and is still something highly regarded. Besides, it is ILLEGAL for an Egyptian man to have sex outside of marriage. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE (ADULTERY) IS ILLEGAL FOR ANYONE IN EGYPT (CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, RESIDENTS, AND FOREIGNERS), AND EVEN FOREIGNERS CAN BE ARRESTED. 

o   If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Follow your brain and forget about your heart or you may end up with a broken heart.

Obviously there are always other things that could suggest that they are using you.  If it seems suspicious, please proceed with caution.  As well as things I may not have mentioned, it is also fair to say that not every Egyptian man is out for a visa or money.  My husband and I have been happily married for two years, living in Egypt.  I know many women who have successful marriages with Egyptian men, living in Egypt and in the West.  Not every man who immigrates because of marriage is using a woman.  Please understand that and be aware that your fiancé may just be a good man who truly loves you.

As with any situation, don’t let love blind you.  I would hate to see any woman get hurt and advise you take it extremely slow with any man you become involved with. I wish you and your fiancé the best of luck. 

Everyday life in Egypt: Part 1 Laundry

So I have been living in Egypt for two years collectively now.  Life in Egypt is not what one would expect and each and every chore is a little harder than it is in Western societies.  Egypt lacks many western conveniences and it is hard to find many others.

One thing that took me a while to get used to was washing laundry.  As a mother of 3 daughter I have done a lot of laundry in my life.  Laundry never really was that much of a chore and I felt like I was a pro. Hahaha!  That was until I moved to Egypt.  A lot of things are different when you wash laundry and it becomes much more of a chore taking a lot more time and energy.

One of the first things I want to discuss is the drying.  In most Western countries we dry our clothes in dryers, or at least own a dryer.  I did do a lot of line drying in the summer because it saved money but always dried underwear and socks in the dryer.   It is very unlikely that you will find a dryer in Egypt.  They are technically reserved for the very rich or used in hotels for foreigners because they are outrageously expensive ($1000+).  They also take a lot of electricity, which there is a shortage of in Egypt and therefor is extremely expensive as well.

Clothes hanging from the balconies.

Most women hang dry their laundry, all year around.  This can be quite challenging being 90% of people in Egypt live in sky-rise apartment buildings. It is generally hung from a clothes line over the edge of your balcony, which can be quite tricky. Here are a few tips I have learned when hanging laundry.

• Use plastic clothes pins.  They are stronger than the wooden ones and do not leave rust stains on your clothes. Pin large or heavy items with extra pins.  Egypt is windy and you are possibly several stories off the ground.  I have lost an abaya and a lot of my husband's undershirts from not pinning things securely. 
• Do not spin your clothes out all the way.  This is a good method to avoid wrinkles. A lot of women hang them soaking wet, at least in the summer. They only take a couple of hours to dry in the hot sun and it saves you a lot of  ironing time. 
• Do not hang your clothes above your neighbor's clothes.  If your neighbor below you has clothes hanging and they do not have a balcony, please be polite and avoid hanging your clothes above theirs.  Even damp clothes drips and if it is dripping on theirs it could wet their clothes or possibly even damage it.
• Don't lean too far over your balcony edge.  Can you imagine falling several stories... Think about it... 
• Hang your underwear on the inside line behind the rest of the clothes. Traditionally, men's underwear and under shirts are hung on the outer line to show that there is a man living in the house.  If you're foreign this might be a good way to keep away unwanted guests.
• If you're still uncomfortable hanging your underwear outside, do as a good friend of mine did. Purchase a wooden or metal hanging rack and place it inside your home.  This provides you with privacy and the peace of mind that your underwear won't fly away.
• Hang the longest clothes (pants, skirts, abayas, sheets, etc...) closest in, just in front of your underwear line.  Try to go outwards from longest to shortest.  This is something I learned the hard way.  Egypt is windy.  If you hang long items on the outside line, they will just blow up and over the rest of your clothes and possibly tangle around them and blow with several other thing, away onto the street. An example of the best way to hang clothes is in the image below from dreamtimes.com.

As you can see, clothes are hung from the longest on the inside to the shortest on the outside.
Image from www.dreamtimes.com

Another thing that was a big difference in Egypt was the washing machine itself.  While there are automatic front loading washing machines, and most upper middle class families have one, you may not.  There are technically three kinds of washing machines in Egypt: automatic washers, bucket style washers, and split washers.  

I currently own a split machine, also known as a half automatic.  The automatic washers, like my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have, are going to be basically the same as what you're used to in the West except that the setting will probably be in Arabic.   

Bucket or Baby washers are small washing machines that only wash clothes.  They do not spin them and will not automatically fill or drain.  They are meant for small loads or small apartments.  They are pretty simple to use, my sister-in-law also has one of these for baby clothes and underwear.

Modern Bucket/Baby washer

The split washers are a bit to get used to.  Often times you will have to move them into your bathroom to wash with them because the waste water hose has to be lowered to drain the water out, which will run out the drain in the bathroom floor.

I have made the photo tutorial below which explains how to basically use a two sided washer:

Notice it has two sides.

This is a picture of my two sided washer.

The controls are in English and Arabic

The first step is to add water:

This is where you attach the hose for the water.  Make sure to switch it over to wash (on both the water feed and machine) when you are filling and select the load size you will need.

I don't have a hose so I choose to fill it with my shower hose. This works just as well, just be sure to remove it before washing.

If you are using your shower or other hose in the bowl, make sure to stop filling as marked on the inside of washer for the load size you will be washing.  I will be washing a medium sized load. If you don't do this you could easily overflow your washer.

The second step is to add your clothes and laundry detergent: 

Make sure to add soap appropriate for your machine.  Hand washing detergent is best in half automatic machines but I do use automatic detergent but make sure to have extra water to ensure it dissolves.

Set your timer and cycle type and close the washer.

Step Three: Drain water

Turn the washer knob over to drain and lower your hose.  Don't worry, your bathroom should have a drain.

Step Four: Rinse

In this step you will repeat the first two steps, but do not add soap. If you have fabric softener add it now. 

Step Five: Drain

Again, you will manually need to drain your washer

Step Six: Spin (Optional)

In this step you take your wet clothes from the wash portion and put them in small amounts into the spin portion of your washer.  Make sure to put the rubber shield over-top of your clothes. After you spin one portion, remove them and repeat until finished.  Remove washer from your bathroom when you're done.

Finally, I want to mention washing detergent.  There are several brands available but be careful on what you select because some is for hand washing and some is for automatic machines.   Also, if you wear black abayas often I suggest you get the detergent for darks (woolite or similar brand).  My preferred brand of detergent in Egypt is Oxi though I have used Tide (VERY expensive).  I do not like the Persil brand because it seems to be very generic and lacks scent and suds. Ariel is what I use for hand washing and is a decent brand and my preferred after Oxi. 

I wish you all the luck in your Egyptian journey.  Just remember to have fun and don't be afraid to ask for help.  Stay tuned for more this week on Part 2 of this series: Cooking!

Things to know before you marry and Egyptian

You're most likely here because you've recently taken interest or become engaged to an Egyptian man.  I'm actually really glad you are here because this is one step towards making a long lasting marriage.  

See, I've met a lot of girls over the years who have become engaged to and/or married Egyptian men. Most of these women I met knew little to nothing about Egyptian men and Egyptian life before marrying and from what I've seen, many of them have suffered to some degree or another from it.

I must admit, I have a wonderful marriage, alhamdulillah.  After two years we don't really struggle with cultural differences at all.  Mostly because both of us are somewhat understanding of where the other person is coming from.  We took a lot of time to get to know each other before we got married.  We asked a lot of questions, spent a lot of time talking, and paid close attention to one another's habits.  We never expected each other to be something we're not.  Thankfully, I seem to be more Egyptian than American because I already lived a lifestyle very similar to the traditional Egyptian lifestyle. I can only image if we weren't so understanding and patient with one another though, or if we wanted to change one another.

Have you ever heard the old saying, "Don't marry someone you want to change."  It is basically saying, if you can't live with someone the way they are, don't expect them to change or become something they're not.  If you don't love them for who they are don't marry them.  This is true in every relationship, especially those in which you marry someone from outside your own culture.  Don't try to change them, the only thing you can do is try to understand them and change yourself. 

It is my hopes that this guide can help some couples overcome the big hurdles by giving women a little knowledge on Egyptian life and Egyptian men.  I have talked to several other women, currently or previously married to Egyptian men, to try to make a list of some basic tips to help you either decide whether this is a commitment you want to make or to help you overcome some problems you may be faced with.

So let's get started:

1: Don't expect Egyptian men to be like Western men.

• Egyptian men are not like Western men.  What I mean by that is they don't think the same nor do they act the same.  For the most part, Egyptian men are raised to be the decision makers of the family.  While women do have some say, the big decisions will always be made by the men.  I advise any woman considering marriage to an Egyptian speak to her fiance' about who will make the important decisions before hand.  

• Egyptian men don't only like to control the decisions but they also like to be in control of their families.  Be prepared to ask for permission to leave the house, even if it is to go to the supermarket.  You will have to tell them everything.  The reasons for this vary as some like to know for your safety and others just expect you to obey them.  This doesn't go both ways. For the most part, Egyptian men come and go as they please and will not offer you any explanation. Demanding one may be asking for a very heated argument.  Again, I advise speaking to your significant other about this before you get married.  Very bluntly ask if this will be something they will expect of you.

• Egyptian men may try to hide things from you to try to 'protect' you.  For example, you husband may get hurt or detained by the police.  He may not call you if he is in the police station or hospital but will tell you once he comes home.  Basically, his thinking is that he doesn't want to worry you.  This is something a lot of women have mentioned and it is definitely something to discuss with your fiance' and be aware of before getting married.

• Egyptian men are very jealous. Do not expect to have male friends or associate with males without causing real problems in your relationship.  This is unheard of in Egyptian culture.  Women are friends with women and men are friends with men. Before, and after marriage, they do not mingle with the opposite sex. This is mostly religious but expect jealousy if you do, and most likely a heated argument or divorce.

• Traditionally, Egyptian men were raised to care for their families.  While they do have control over their families this is a double-edged sward for them.  For the most part, Egyptian men will work extremely hard for long hours and most likely, if you're living in Egypt, at least two jobs. Do not expect him to be home a lot and expect him to be tired when he does get home. Typically, Egyptian men only get off of work on Friday.  

2: Expect more traditional gender roles.

• Women in Egypt still abide by pretty traditional gender roles.  While they are free to go to college and work, it will depend on your spouse if he will allow it or not.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  He can dictate whether you work or not.  As a woman married to an Egyptian, your first obligation is to care for your family. If you're Muslim, you should already be aware of this duty, if you're not, be prepared for it. This is also true in Egyptian Christian families. Most men will allow you to work if you can also care for the home, have lunch prepared before he gets home from work, and can care for any children you two may have together.  If this is something you have a problem with, I would definitely advise you to reconsider marrying an Egyptian man. This is by far the biggest issue I see with couples.

• For the most part, a man's role in Egypt is to provide financially for his family but don't expect him to be your ATM machine.  This is why so many Egyptian men marry Western women. Many Egyptian women are unappreciative of their husband's work and expect him to give her money even if they can't afford it.  An Egyptian man takes pride in working as much as he can to give his family a decent life but this also can cause him to be away from home a lot. This causes the wife to do most of the raising of any children they may have. Do not expect him to change, even if you move outside of Egypt.  This is something most of their fathers have engraved in them passed down through the generations. 

• Egyptian men do not have women friends, traditionally.  Women do not befriend men in Egypt. Even at large family gatherings, women eat in different rooms than men, mostly so they can sit in their pajamas and remove their head scarves.  Your future spouse may be uncomfortable around your women friends and if you have male friends it can possibly ruin your marriage. Also, be aware that any man who has a lot of women friends is most likely not a good man.  I know this may be hard to understand, but in the Arab world, men who befriend women aren't honest.  They are usually womanizers and don't respect women.  This IS really important whether his is Muslim or Christian.  Please be aware of this now because most of the time it is an addiction they won't get rid of easily.

3: Egyptian In-Laws will invade your life.

• I can honestly say, I love my in-laws with all my heart and soul.  I am very blessed to have them and they are the most wonderful people I know.  One thing that really made my life easier was understanding my in-laws before I got married.  Egyptian families are very close.  Most men will do absolutely anything for his family, and honestly, I'd be afraid if an Egyptian man wouldn't.  This goes both ways.  If you're in a jam they will do anything for you as well, but expect them to want to be involved in your life-a lot.

• Egyptian Aunties.  I've heard horror stories about Egyptian Aunties.  Alhamdulillah, my husband has a wonderful family, but not every woman has experiences similar to mine. Your husband's Aunts and other older women family members may like to gossip about you.  Not because there is anything wrong with you, but let's face it, you are a foreigner and different. Try not to let it bother you.  One way to avoid this is to first be aware that it may happen. Secondly, don't do anything to draw extra attention to yourself publicly. 

• Egyptian mother-in-laws are wonderful.  I want to say that.  I love mama and she is a very close friend of mine.  Like my own blood.  If you get to know your future mother-in-law and understand her you will not go wrong.  Understand that they will be overbearing and especially since you are not Egyptian. They will be worried about the well being of their son, mostly that he won't be eating enough. They will expect you to cook Egyptian food and act in a way traditional to Egyptian women. If this is something you don't want to do, don't try and explain to her, this could result in insulting her or making it worse. I advise you just go along with what she says when she's around. Most Egyptian mothers are very tough and very set in their ways. They will want to help raise your children if you have any with your husband/future husband, because traditionally raising children is done by the entire family.  This is something you will not change if you're living in Egypt, and I don't advise you try to change it.  Just understand whether or not this will be something expected and get to know your mother-in-law before you marry.
• You may have more than one mother-in-law.  Yes, Egyptian men sometimes do have more than one wife.  They should all be treated like your mum and with equal respect. 

• His family will love you because they love him. If you're sick expect a family reunion to check on you.  Expect that to go both ways.  If you're in the hospital they will all show up.  Expect a lot of family get-togethers around the any holiday.

• When you marry an Egyptian you marry his entire family.  It's true.  Never, I mean never, insult them.  Especially his immediate family.  Most likely you will find yourself losing respect from him and possibly divorced.  

• Discuss these things with your future spouse because every family is different. I advise trying to get to know them before you get married. Maybe come for a visit first. Learn Egyptian Arabic and speak to them.  

4:  Other odds and ends

• If you're planning on living in Egypt for any length of time, please read my previous blog post on the Realistic and Harsh Truths: A Guide to Living in Egypt

• Learn to put your foot down.  Don't let them get away with something you don't like.  Tell them it bothers you before it gets to the point where you can't stand it.  

• Talk to your fiance about things before you get married. If something he does bothers you, tell him now.  Don't wait until you're married and expect him to change. 

• Try to be open minded.  You are marrying into a very old, traditional culture.  Try new things and explore what works for you and your family.  

• Please, please try to learn Egyptian Arabic.  I have a few post on here with some beginner words.  One site that really helped me a lot was https://www.memrise.com/.  You can also email me personally and I will attempt to help you as much as possible, inshallah.

• Finally, remember, every relationship is different and so is every individual. Follow your heart but not so much that it clouds your judgement.  If something doesn't feel right, it very well may not be.  

I wish everyone the best of luck in their relationships.  I will be working on other posts regarding more about Egyptian men, everyday life in Egypt, and some tips on surviving the culture shock.  Be sure to check back often.

DIY Halal 3 Ingredient Strawberry Freezer Jam

Unlike much of the western world, when living in Egypt one can not just run to the supermarket to find fruits and vegis that are not in season and have been imported from another place.  While some supermarkets do carry some imported fruits and vegetables here, it is extremely costly and often unreliable.

One thing I like to do back home is can my produce.  One thing about canning is that is must be stored at a cool temperature and honestly, in Egypt, it is only cool during the winter months.  Canning is not always an easy option.  I have opted to do a lot of freezing but my freezer space is also limited. So how do I enjoy winter fruits in summer and vice versa?  One thing I do is make freezer jam.  This concentrates the fruit into smaller portions but still gives you that fruit well past the season.

Today I have decided to take some of our winter bounty, strawberries, and make freezer jam. Currently at the souq, you can buy a kilo of strawberries for five pounds ( 2 lbs for ~ $0.65) which is a great price so we are stocking up because as temperatures are beginning to hit around 28°C (82°F) I know the end to the strawberry season is only weeks away.

Another great thing about this jam is that it is halal which is one of the reasons I make it back in the states.  A lot of jams are NOT halal containing gelatin which is made out of pork carcasses.  Some also contain alcohol.  This recipe contains neither, therefore is a great halal addition to your breakfast.

So, I thought I would share my strawberry freezer jam recipe which is the same one I have been using for over 10 years. It only has three ingredients and is pretty much foolproof.  It tastes just as good as traditional canned jam but is just easier to make for those lacking canning experience or those who don't live in canning friendly countries.

Halal 3 Ingredient Strawberry Freezer Jam

Ingredients:

2 lbs (1 kg) fresh strawberries

1 1/2 cups (~350ml) of sugar

1/4 cup (~60 ml) lemon juice

Makes: About 2/3 quart (630 ml) of jam

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time:  30 minutes

Cool Time: 2+ hours

Directions:

Wash the strawberries well.  Next we will hull the berries, which means cutting off the tops and stems.  How small you chop your berries will depend on how chunky you prefer your jam.  I prefer a smooth base with some small chunks here and there so I place about 3/4 of the hulled berries in my food processor and blend until smooth.  I slice the remaining berries.

Add berries and sugar in a thick bottom sauce pan over medium heat. Bring to a rolling boil.  Add lemon juice.  Don't worry it doesn't effect the flavor it just balances out the pH of the jam so it thickens correctly.

Continue to boil, stirring frequently.  The jam will thicken and boil very high, so make sure to use a tall pot.  

After 30 minutes remove from the heat and transfer to heat resistant containers.  I use pint jars. Allow to cool for about 2 hours before adding lid. Will last for about 6 months in normal freezer or up to 2 years in deep freezer.