Most of you know I have lived in Egypt for over a year now. This has given me a lot of insight on Egyptian culture.
So many people think Egyptian men only marry foreign women for money and visas to their countries. While in some cases this may be true, most of the women I have seen saying this have had a bad end to their marriages for various reasons.
Some reasons were due to culture clashes (seriously girls, do your research before marrying out of your own culture and don't expect them to change), adultery (if you start a relationship with adultery also don't expect that to change), but most of the reasons I have seen is because she left him when he couldn't come to her country because SHE didn't want to live in Egypt.
Now, there are reasons so many Egyptian men marry foreign women, and I won't deny that some of them do marry for money and visas. No, I do not think this is right, it is very very wrong, but this simply doesn't speak for the majority.
After seeing married couples, attending weddings, and listening to my husband tell experiences from his friends who married EGYPTIAN girls, I have gone out and done my own research on the subject. Here is what I found.
Egyptians have a lot of cultural restrictions to marriage that are NOT Islamic. They are purely cultural. When a man wants to marry an Egyptian girl, there are many things he must do to prove he is worthy and satisfy the girl's family before he can get their blessings.
First, he must have a GOOD job. Good jobs in Egypt are hard to find, even if a man graduated college. Even to work as a cashier at a grocery store they want a bachelor's degree. Most factories, even for individuals in places of authority, only pay 1,200.00 EGP per month salary. That is NOT enough to even feed a family on. So that man has to work two or more full time jobs to fulfill his duty. If you consider bills, a 'allowance' for his wife (and most Egyptian girls want a hefty 'allowance' even if the man can't afford one), food, gas for his car or taxi fees, emergency expenses... The average Egyptian man can't do that.
Secondly, he must buy a flat. Depending upon the city and the requirements of the family, he may have to pay over 450,000.00 EGY but no less than 250,000.000 EGP. Now remember the salary? How many years do you think it will take to save that kind of $$?!
Thirdly, he must furnish that flat with very fashionable NEW furniture. When we furnished our flat, it cost 4,000.00 EGP just for a new small stove and small refrigerator. If you count our used furniture it was another 10,000.00 EGP (not including what was borrowed from family)-and our flat is relatively empty. It generally costs somewhere between 50,000.00 EGP and 100,000.00 EGP to furnish a flat.
Fourth, the wedding must be fancy. No expense spared. That's another 50,000.00 EGP plus.
So, an Egyptian man has many opportunities to meet foreign women now days. Whether it be online, through friends, while traveling themselves, or while the woman is visiting Egypt to name a few. They become friends. The man really likes the woman and she really likes him. She would make a good wife.
Most foreign women's families do NOT have as strict of marriage requirements as Egyptian families. Most of them let their daughters choose who they want to marry. None of the above things are of that much importance. As long as he can provide for her. For older women, in their late twenties and older, there is usually no need to ask family. They are free to marry who they want, no longer being girls.
Most Egyptian men, from what I have seen, actually would prefer to stay in Egypt. I mean really, with all the discrimination and unknowns, how wonderful is it for them anyway?! Many of them leave their homes for the women, so they don't have to be away from their families and suffer from culture shock. If the women were willing to live in Egypt, many of them would not leave, very happily. He would have to work two jobs his entire life, but that is what they are raised to do, and honestly, most Egyptian men have an emotional need to do so.
Marrying a foreign woman is so much easier. And in many cases, these men truly love their wives. They weren't used, they weren't cheated. They were just easier to marry in a world that is so hard to live in already. I know it can sound bad to some, like these foreign women are second best, but many Egyptian men DON'T WANT TO marry an Egyptian girl in the first place. Would you want to marry someone is still ungrateful and wants more even after you give them everything you can?
Some marry purely for love, others marry because they prefer revert women as they are more pious, and still there are the men who take advantage of women. Frankly, though, I am tired of hearing women bash Egyptian men because of some one sided story. This is the real reason the MAJORITY of Egyptian men who marry outside their own culture marry.
So many people think Egyptian men only marry foreign women for money and visas to their countries. While in some cases this may be true, most of the women I have seen saying this have had a bad end to their marriages for various reasons.
Some reasons were due to culture clashes (seriously girls, do your research before marrying out of your own culture and don't expect them to change), adultery (if you start a relationship with adultery also don't expect that to change), but most of the reasons I have seen is because she left him when he couldn't come to her country because SHE didn't want to live in Egypt.
Now, there are reasons so many Egyptian men marry foreign women, and I won't deny that some of them do marry for money and visas. No, I do not think this is right, it is very very wrong, but this simply doesn't speak for the majority.
After seeing married couples, attending weddings, and listening to my husband tell experiences from his friends who married EGYPTIAN girls, I have gone out and done my own research on the subject. Here is what I found.
Egyptians have a lot of cultural restrictions to marriage that are NOT Islamic. They are purely cultural. When a man wants to marry an Egyptian girl, there are many things he must do to prove he is worthy and satisfy the girl's family before he can get their blessings.
First, he must have a GOOD job. Good jobs in Egypt are hard to find, even if a man graduated college. Even to work as a cashier at a grocery store they want a bachelor's degree. Most factories, even for individuals in places of authority, only pay 1,200.00 EGP per month salary. That is NOT enough to even feed a family on. So that man has to work two or more full time jobs to fulfill his duty. If you consider bills, a 'allowance' for his wife (and most Egyptian girls want a hefty 'allowance' even if the man can't afford one), food, gas for his car or taxi fees, emergency expenses... The average Egyptian man can't do that.
Secondly, he must buy a flat. Depending upon the city and the requirements of the family, he may have to pay over 450,000.00 EGY but no less than 250,000.000 EGP. Now remember the salary? How many years do you think it will take to save that kind of $$?!
Thirdly, he must furnish that flat with very fashionable NEW furniture. When we furnished our flat, it cost 4,000.00 EGP just for a new small stove and small refrigerator. If you count our used furniture it was another 10,000.00 EGP (not including what was borrowed from family)-and our flat is relatively empty. It generally costs somewhere between 50,000.00 EGP and 100,000.00 EGP to furnish a flat.
Fourth, the wedding must be fancy. No expense spared. That's another 50,000.00 EGP plus.
So, an Egyptian man has many opportunities to meet foreign women now days. Whether it be online, through friends, while traveling themselves, or while the woman is visiting Egypt to name a few. They become friends. The man really likes the woman and she really likes him. She would make a good wife.
Most foreign women's families do NOT have as strict of marriage requirements as Egyptian families. Most of them let their daughters choose who they want to marry. None of the above things are of that much importance. As long as he can provide for her. For older women, in their late twenties and older, there is usually no need to ask family. They are free to marry who they want, no longer being girls.
Most Egyptian men, from what I have seen, actually would prefer to stay in Egypt. I mean really, with all the discrimination and unknowns, how wonderful is it for them anyway?! Many of them leave their homes for the women, so they don't have to be away from their families and suffer from culture shock. If the women were willing to live in Egypt, many of them would not leave, very happily. He would have to work two jobs his entire life, but that is what they are raised to do, and honestly, most Egyptian men have an emotional need to do so.
Marrying a foreign woman is so much easier. And in many cases, these men truly love their wives. They weren't used, they weren't cheated. They were just easier to marry in a world that is so hard to live in already. I know it can sound bad to some, like these foreign women are second best, but many Egyptian men DON'T WANT TO marry an Egyptian girl in the first place. Would you want to marry someone is still ungrateful and wants more even after you give them everything you can?
Some marry purely for love, others marry because they prefer revert women as they are more pious, and still there are the men who take advantage of women. Frankly, though, I am tired of hearing women bash Egyptian men because of some one sided story. This is the real reason the MAJORITY of Egyptian men who marry outside their own culture marry.
Asalaam alikum. Great post! Any tips on how a sister can make sure she is marrying a man who is interested in her and not one who is looking just for a visa? When I was looking for a husband I often just assumed that men from certain countries were looking to take advantage of me, which probably wasn't fair. But how can a sister protect herself? Alhamdulillah I don't have to worry about it any more as I am married now, but there are so many sisters yet that do. Thanks!
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