Weight loss Demystified.

I have struggled with weight loss for the past 16 years.  I had tried every diet imaginable and then some.  Before becoming pregnant with Ariana I was wearing a size 10 jeans.  For my  bone size and muscle mass this isn't bad at all.  Actually I was quite satisfied with that.  

Upon arriving to Egypt three months ago I was wearing a size 18.  I thought I ate healthy.  Salads, juice, water...  Yes cookies, coffee, soda, candy and fast food... But I didn't think it was that often.

I am currently a  juniors size 12.  Yes.  12.  In three months I have dropped 6 pants sized.

Since being in Egypt I have had fast food twice.  Once we had KFC and once we had Pizza Hut in Cairo. 

I rarely eat junk food.  Soda maybe three times a week.  Half a candy bar maybe, maybe every other day.  No candies.  Limited ice cream.  Chips maybe once a week.  And that isn't a full family sized bag.  No half a small personal sized bag.

I don't really exercise.  With my herniated disk that isn't really all that possible.  I walk about 6 km a week total.

No here's my secret.  No processed food.  No junk.  Everything, including the meat, is fresh.  Not even frozen.

That means no MSG, no preservatives, no added sweeteners, no added salt.

Every morning I eat one circle loaf of flat bread.  This is with fool (stewed beans), eggs, cheese, and tomato.  Lunch is our big meal here-eaten between 2 and 4PM.  Which actually makes a lot of sense.  Eat your larger meal while you still have time to burn off the calories.  Supper is more like a snack and is eaten at like 10 PM-Midnight.

I eat a lot of rice.  A lot of bread.  Lots of beans.  Lots of meat.  Lots of vegetables. Difference being... Never once have I eaten a meal made from a box or frozen.  Never once have I eaten a processed meal (with the exception of the two fast food meals).  I drink 4 liters of water a day.  Two cups of tea.  One Turkish coffee. 

Isn't really hard.  And tastes a lot better.  :)

Mess of Emotions...

Anger.  Frustration.  Determination.  Emptiness.  Resentment.  Overwhelmed.  Tormented.  Vengeful.  

A mess of angry emotions flood my mind.  Every afternoon, as it is morning where my beautiful girls are waking up and starting their day.  Starting their day without me.

Nine years of motherhood all for what?!  All my life is.  Meaning of my life.  Every struggle.  Every ounce of pain.  It was all worth it.  It was for my babies. Ten years of an abusive marriage.  Trying to hold a failing family together.  Keeping everyone smiling when I fell asleep every night crying. 

Now without them I feel lost.  I have no one to care for.  No one to occupy my mind, my time.  I feel like this is all I know.  I'm lost.  I want to be happy but without them I can't truly live my life.

Never will I stop fighting.  They will be back where they belong, where they are safe and loved.  Inshallah.  But I will never stop regretting leaving them with my ex-husband.  No matter how good of an idea it was at the time.  No matter how hard it would have been if I would have kept them with no steady job,  full-time college, no house...  No matter how it was for their best interest...  I can't seem to justify it anymore. 

No matter how often I talk to them its never enough.  We're separated by 6,000 miles and my biggest fear is that something will happen while I'm here.  While I have no way to them.  While I may not get to say goodbye.

I have to trust God.  If we are meant to get the girls, its his will.  No amount of money, no lawyers,  no amount of convincing will change the outcome.  I can't stop fighting.  I can't give up.  But... Its that time.

3:28 PM here in Egypt.  7:28 AM in Wisconsin.  The two oldest will be on their way to school.  It's my time to talk to them for 5 minutes today. 

Egyptian Molokhia Recipe

Molokhia is a stew very popular in Egypt but dates back to the time of the Pharaohs.  It is made from a very healthy super-food known as jute leaves, Egyptian spinich, or Jews Mallow.  This is a leafy green vegetable found throughout the Middle East.  This low calorie meal is rich in vitamin c, vitamin a, and calcium which makes it not only a delicious comfort food, but a nutritious one as well. Nutritionists have said it has three times the calcium and phospherous as Kale, and four times the amount of riboflavin. It also provides 70% of the RDA value for Vitamin C, 25% of the RDA of Vitamin A among a host of other minerals and vitamins.

Molokhia has been prepared the same way in Egypt for thousands of years.  The makhrata is a tool with either one or two curved blades that has a handle on each end.  It kind of rocks back and forth over the leaves not only chopping them, but smashing them as well.

I admit do not own a makhrata and have never tried the traditional method, though when we begin growing our own molokhia I will convert to using the traditional method. This recipe will follow the more conventional method of using frozen molokhia from the supermarket.

Molokhia leaves and molokhia makhrata tool.

Traditionally, molokhia played an important role in Egyptian marriage. Before a man would chose his bride, she would prepare molokhia for him.  If her molokhia was not good she was seen as a bad cook, if it was good she was seen as a great cook and therefor a suitable bride.  Failed molokhia was referred to as molokhia sa'ata (fallen molokhia) because the failed molokhia consists of two layers instead of just one.  Even when stirred it returned almost instantly to two layers.  See the tips below on how to avoid failed molokhai.  It isn't rocket science but molokhia takes patience and time to be prepared correctly. 

Egyptian molokhia soup with baked chicken and rice

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 1.5-2 hours

Servings: 6-8

Ingredients:

Broth:

• 1 whole chicken

• 6 cups (~1.5 liters) of water

• 1 large onion halved

• 2 bay leaves

• 1 tbsp salt

• Optional:  Skip the ingredients above and use three chicken bouillon cubes instead. 

Molokhia:

• 1 lb (~400 grams) frozen molokhia

• 1 large red onion, diced

• 2 tbsp tomato paste (either canned or homemade-doesn't matter)

• Ta'leyah (recipe here)

• 1tsp lemon juice

• salt and pepper to taste

Chicken:

• your preference of seasoning for baking the chicken (I use rosemary, lemon, thyme, and sage)

• salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Cut and trim fat from chicken.  I prefer to leave on skin for baking.  Add water to large stock pot with onion, bay leaves, and salt.  Bring to a rolling boil. Add chicken.  Boil for about 1 1/2 hours.  *If you are using bouillon instead of actually boiling the chicken, just make sure that your bouillon is dissolved well before adding molokhia ingredients. 
2. Remove chicken, onion, and bay leaves from pot.  Set chicken aside.  SAVE THE BROTH. 
3. Place the chicken broth in a medium pan on high heat.
4. Rub the onions well with salt and pepper then add them to the broth along with the tomato paste. 
5. Add salt and pepper to taste. Reduce to low heat and cook until the onions are tender and translucent. 
6. Add frozen molokhia and lemon juice.  Do not let boil.  Cook over the lowest heat possible.  This needs to be cooked over very low heat.  Boiling will cause a two layered molokhia that doesn't taste good and is syrupy. 
7.  Prepare ta'leyah as in this recipe here. Preheat oven to 350°F (~175°C)
8. Pour ta'leyah over molokhia and stir only once.
9. Simmer on the lowest heat possible (making sure NOT to boil it) for about 30 minutes.  DO NOT COVER. Once 30 minutes is up, remove from heat and allow to settle for about 10 minutes before serving.
10. Prepare chicken by rubbing it with your preferred spices.  Cover with aluminum foil.  Bake for 25 minutes (if you didn't boil it first-cook for 35 minutes) then remove the foil and bake for an additional 10 minute or until the internal temperature of the chicken is at least 180°F (82°C)
11. Prepare Egyptian Rice as in recipe found here
12. Pour molokhia in bowls and serve with chicken and Egyptian rice.

Note:  It is important to remember NOT TO BOIL OR COVER the molokhia.  If you do you will end up with failed molokhia!

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